February 2009 Issue
Venus Diva Readers have their say...
Have a question? ask Olga
Dear Olga:
This was my first shoot and I didn't pose right and the photographer didn't even help me out with some direction. He knew it was my first time in front of a camera. I also used clothes that I had in my closet and there was no make up artist or hair person.
I am feeling down and the images are not that good. Right now I am low on funds and I can't afford to pay for another shoot. I have no idea what to do.
I don't want to model anymore, I don't think I have what it takes. I just don't know how you or the other plus models do it.
Tara
New Jersey
Dear Tara:
Modeling is not just about finding and paying for a good photographer. You need to feel comfortable in your own curves, with yourself.
The mirror is not only there for you to look at just to check if your hair is out of place. Let the mirror show you how beautiful you are. I know it sounds 'wacky', but start flirting with your mirror. Do silly faces, funny, and sexy ones; also flaunt your curves and see which is your best side or pose. Repeat them over and over again and when you shoot again just pretend the camera lens happens to be that mirror.
I am not sure who you shot with but for $500.00... but you should have checked beforehand to find out if a make-up artist and hair stylist were in the contract for that price. And every photographer is different, so you have to check their policy and contract each and every time.
It's all right if you model in some of your outfits from your own closet... this is what a lot of aspiring models do when getting started... But you have to be honest with what your options are in your wardrobe, and then choose wisely! For inspiration in getting started, first check out fashion magazines and current ads for the types of styles and photos that are being taken as this is a good indication of the types of photos YOU might need! Next, check out your closet for looks you want the photographer to take. For example, if you want a business suit for a commercial look and you don't own one then you may have to go and purchase one. But make sure you buy one that you truly like and that you will wear. Let's not start buying clothes for photo shoots that you will not use on a regular basis.
Also most photographer's now provide a CD, but they may be able to help you get some of the images printed (again, check the contract) or at least suggest a good printing spot. I like to go Fedex/kinko's for stuff like this.
Everyday we learn something new. Take the images you like the best and put them in a folder and write what you like best about it and then take the images you don't like and put them in another folder. Here you can write what you don't like and why you should not pose this or that way again.
IF you want to shoot again and when you are ready you can go to www.plusmodelmagazine.com and view their Directory of photographers, MUA and stylists. It is also an excellent resource for inspiration on the latest styles and poses! We also have some resources that you can find here on Venus Divas. I also have a list of photographers that I have worked with and I highly recommend them. I am going to email you that list.
So hold your head up high and let's just plan the next shoot better. I am here for you if you have any questions.
I also would like for you to do some TFP's first before you do another paid shoot. These are free and it gives you the practice you need.
I am wishing you all the best.
Curvaceously yours,
Olga
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Curvy Girls Rule with Olga Gonzalez-Ramos: Don't Hate Me Because I am 'FAT' and Beautiful........
Salutations my Curvy divas it's that time again for me to speak my mind and support the plus size community. It has been a good summer for me; it's the first summer I get to spend at home with my family without the hectic chaos of a corporate job in the last 12 years. I no longer live by the code of the alarm clock.
Speaking of codes, I don't have to explain to society why I live by the code of a 'Fat' girl. Society is never going to understand or perhaps make that attempt to meet us half way. A compliment is rare in the life of plus size women, but it shouldn't be. We are sexy, provocative sirens that have just as much to offer as any thin woman can.
I hate to see 12 year olds that are already on diets, crying alone in their rooms because they are like 10 pounds over weight and the kids in school are tormenting her. Then there are the men that love getting that laugh on from 'Fat' girl jokes, but in walks a thick chic and he can't keep his eyes off of her. He is in denial and he can stay there for all I care with his ignorant behavior. No one wants a man that acts like a child.
Big girls come in all kind of shape and sizes; but we are all BEAUTIFUL. I hate the times when I will walk into a straight size clothing store, perhaps to look at their shoes or designer hand bags and the girls working at the store as well as the customers that are browsing give me that look ,'Oh, a fat girl, shopping here?' Dah, I know I can't buy clothes, but damn it can't I shop for other things? I may want a pair of hot sunglasses or some sassy loop earrings near the cash register. They don't even bother walking up to me and asking me, 'Can I help you?' They just ignore me and go around chasing some 'skinny' customer.
Recently I went to the state fair and I was with my family. The kids were sitting on a bench while me and Raul got food. Raul went to pay and I was holding the food. I want to say I was holding a tray with several hotdogs, two drinks and some nachos. As I stood there so many people were looking at me like I was monster or something. They had that look of disapproval , they simply assumed all of that food was for me. They don't have the right to judge me.
But this is the fuel that I feed on. I don't let anyone upset me because if they cannot accept me and respect who I am; then they don't exist in Olga's world. I don't just throw anything on. No way. I dress how I feel sexy and powerful. Society needs to understand that we don't need their acceptance anymore; we bigger girls are done with that already. That chapter is closed. It's about what we want now, how we feel and what we need. The days of buying boring outfits in only BLACK are gone. We dress up in colorful and seductive designs that make our curves pop. Men have noticed that we walk strong and proud and that is such a turn on for them. Every day another man gets wind of just how special and woman with curves and all of that other good stuff we big girls got can be.
I won't lie and say that I wouldn't like to be a size 14, heck yeah. That size rocks and I would look amazing. But then reality kicks in and I may never get to that size. So, am I going to love myself less and not appreciate how I look? Nooooooooo! I embrace what I got and work with that. I for sure don't want to ever be a skinny girl. Because if I was a skinny girl and I was shopping at a store that only had small sizes and in came a fat girl I would probably give her that same look, that can hurt so darn much.
My Venus Divas if you have some rant you would want to share with us or a story where you didn't let negativity take the best of you, we would love to hear it. The best way to get even is letting the world see your true glow.
Fat girls RULE.
Meeting the Parents.........
It is that time of year when social gatherings are at their highest. The holidays are the perfect trademark to introduce your significant other to your family and friends... preferably the introduction to his parents.
Nervous yet??? There are hundreds of panic thoughts running through your head right now. It does not have to be this way. This is a huge sign that your relationship is reaching a level of comfort and commitment. To have your guy ask you over to his parent's home for let's say 'Thanksgiving' is a tremendous achievement. He wants to share his lovely, confident, curvy woman with the world. This means he is damn proud of his choice, and he wants his family and friends to join in on this wonderful celebration. The celebration of YOU....
Are you wondering why? Thanksgiving is a special time to sit down and have dinner with those closest to you. The prayer of thanks that is said traditionally right before we eat is a true blessing of thankfulness to God. You the girlfriend, fiancé or wife has just been invited to join in this prayer and this bond is a strong one.
We all want to be adored by our future 'Mother-in-law'. There are hundreds of success stories as well as the never-ending nightmare ones too. You need to focus on being yourself. If he fell in love with you and thinks the world of you, his parents will take notice of this.
Parents always hold high expectations of us all, from early on in our childhood, to our education to the people we allow in our lives. They may or may not like you but you both have someone wonderful in common... their SON and your MAN.
Start planning ahead of time. Go out and find a gorgeous dress with the perfect shoes to match. Show off your beautiful hair as well. Pay close attention the jewelry you will wear that night. Something too flashy can give the wrong impression and something too blah as well. Wear a piece of jewelry that he has given you or several of them.
When I met my mother-in-law for the first time she complimented my jewelry and I proudly announced to her that it was her son's first gift to me. I will never forget her smile.
Do your homework. Find out what are her favorite shows on the telly. What is her favorite candy, flowers, etc? Is she a republican or a democrat?
You are their guest and you should show your appreciation. Come prepared to dazzle his mother with a stunning bouquet of her favorite cut flower.
You finally found your PRINCE from all of those green frogs you kissed. Longevity is the key word here and you want to make his family, your own.
To all of my Venus Divas that are about to embark on their first 'Thanksgiving' dinner at their future in law's home. Let your beauty, soul, and personality shine that night. May your glow capture the hearts of his family... Enjoy the dinner, the talk around the table and don't forget to smile for that camera.
Have a safe, fun and blessed Thanksgiving...
Photo Credit:
Photographer: (c) 2008 Sean McEntee
Plus Model: Venus Diva Magazine Reader and Community Member Felicia
